This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it, fucktards? For Me to update my blog? Judging from all the STUPID FUCKING EMAILS you losers have been sending Me for the past few months, you have nothing better to do with your PATHETIC LIVES than check www.perfectiondefined.com EVERY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES to see if I’ve updated it. Well, fuck you losers! I have a life, and you have . . . well, nothing, apparently. LOL!
So, yes, I haven’t updated in quite a while. That’s what’s great about being Me. If I get bored with something, then I can just ignore it. I can forget about it. Like you losers. When you bore Me, I ignore you. When you don’t call Me, I forget about you. When you click My tribute buttons and then don’t pay, I block your loser asses. It’s all about ME. Not about you.
Mr. Reed knows what I’m talking about. He decided to stop calling for a while. Then one day last week he called, wanting to play pump and pay. I told him sure, no problem - start stroking at TEN DOLLARS A STROKE. He sniveled and cried and begged for a lower rate, so I hung up on him. He called back 5 minutes later and started counting by tens! After only 20 strokes, the stupid fucktard actually had an orgasm! Without My permission! Can you believe it? He kind of whimpered in mid-stroke, so I knew immediately what had happened. No problem - I charged him a $500 cum tax! Princess Amber always wins, right Mr. Reed?
Let’s see, what else is new? Well, there’s My new Amberite, PeeWee the Loser. PeeWee likes to jerk off in front of his window, hoping the neighbors will see him. I make him stand in front of the window and jerk-off until I decide he’s paid enough. And there’s Dickhead Dave, who likes to call me on his cell while driving. I’ve made him cum so often, the inside of his car must be absolutely disgusting with cum-stains. Yuck. And I have a couple more pump-and-pay addicts. What a bizarre freaky fetish that is - not that I’m complaining. In fact, I’m thinking of having a pump-and-pay contest. The winner will win a free orgasm (I usually charge for that). Isn’t that a wonderful prize? More about that later.
Oh, I almost forgot My blackmail freak. He begs me to post his personal info on my blog, then begs me to take it down five minutes later, which I do after he pays a huge “blog editing” fee.
Well, I’m tired after updating My blog for you pervs. Are you jerking off while you read it? Good. Now, call Me, fucktards. Bring your cocks to Me . . . and your wallets!
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